you dreamed of gills so you would not drown in the sea of him you dreamed of a tail instead of legs to keep him out you gave up your voice hoping that would bring you the casing of green and silver scales layered over hips shining your long legs fluttering into fins where once were feet in shiny mary janes you had the right hair already white lighting your face you had a strand of your mother’s pearls beneath your pillow you had the right dreams of blue-green water faraway coastal cities where you belonged instead of those parched towns where the men hunted creatures like you and mounted them in their living rooms but you did not get your fish tail and your voice was gone even your legs didn’t work quite right anymore you hobbled away from home leaving a trail of blood and pearls men and women followed you wanted to touch you and you let them hoping one would know the spell but it was not until you reached the pacific and flung yourself naked into the surf your hair writhing like seaweed on the water your eyes turning greener with the reflection your breasts and between your legs finally your own this is when you grew gills to really breathe this is when you grew a tail prettier than your best french gown this is when you found your scream your poetry your voice